The Rules of Love Marriage Training Course

Register for the Marriage Training Course

Single and looking? Learn the critical skills, knowledge, & rules for a successful marriage.

Married? Improve your relationship, communication, & problem solving skills.

Earn your Certificate of Marriage Preparation (Lessons, homework, Quizzes, Assessments, & Final Test).

Based on the Quran, Sunnah, Fiqh, and modern Psychology.

There are good reasons why marriage is the most critical and sophisticated of all human relations. Unlike any other human relationship, a marital relationship consists of four dimensions:

(1) the theological dimension

(2) the emotional dimension

(3) the intimacy dimension

(4) the legal dimension

The theological dimension defines the core Muslim beliefs and shared values upon which everything in marriage is built upon. Without it, the marriage will fall apart.

The emotional dimension of marriage is the most complex one. This is where most marital problems occur. In short, it is about good companionship, romance, love, and the nine human emotional needs (p40). Two powerful words in the Quran (4:19, 4:36) eloquently summarize how the spouses should live and treat each other: ma’ruf and ihsān.

al-ma’ruf is a comprehensive term that means:

- known to be equitable, fair, just, acceptable, and halal

- customarily (عُرْفًا) known to be acceptable and appropriate in their culture

- legally (شَرْعًا) known to be acceptable (Rights & Duties, p78).

al-ihsān is a comprehensive term that means:

- to do something beautiful

- to go beyond the minimum

- excellence

Acting on the Quranic ideals of ma’ruf and with ihsān, the husband and the wife must treat each other as follows.

- communicate with each other in a loving and respectful way.

- respect each other’s needs for intimacy.

- maintain their outward appearance (grooming, dress, fragrance, etc.)

- support each other emotionally and socially.

- demonstrate excellent companionship.

- hide each other’s faults.

- defend each other’s reputation.

- not hurt each other’s feelings.

- avoid emotional, physical, and verbal attacks.

- create a safe and secure home physically, verbally, emotionally.

- cut out toxic behaviors: drama, chaos, nagging, whining, gaslighting, manipulation, defensiveness, negativity, protest behavior, blaming, judging, etc.

The intimacy (or sexual) dimension is about sexual satisfaction for both. Sexual satisfaction is one of the nine human needs (page 40) that are best satisfied in an Islamic marriage. Both spouses have the God-given right to sex and to sexually enjoy each other. Both must do whatever it takes to satisfy each other’s sexual needs and desires. They must avoid any behavior or speech that prevents the fulfillment of their carnal appetites. According to Imam al-Ghazali (رَحِمَهُ الله), a man must not refuse his wife for more than three consecutive nights.[1] According to other scholars[2], he should make enough love with her to keep her sexually satisfied: whether it’s daily, weekly, or monthly, whatever it takes. On average, the husband desires sex six times more than the wife[3]. Both spouses must understand that not having sex can have serious health harms for both of them (p178). Sex should never be used as a weapon, just like you never use food as weapon. The two must respond cheerfully, lovingly, and positively to each other’s sexual advances and requests for intimacy. Refusing sex and intimacy (without a valid excuse) can and will have devastating consequences for the marriage. However, there are times when sex is prohibited and must be refused (see details on page 196).

The legal dimension clarifies the rights and duties of the spouses. The rules are there to minimize harm and maximize benefit. The wife has rights and responsibilities. The husband has rights and responsibilities. Follow the rules and fulfill your responsibilities and you will have a successful marriage. Don’t follow the rules or fail to fulfill your responsibilities and you will have problems after problems.

For a successful marriage, the four dimensions must work together like the four wheels of a car. Pay attention to the emotional dimension because that’s where most problems occur! No wonder marriage is “half of your deen”.

This course and textbook guide is intended for both pre-marital training as well as training for already married people who wish to improve their marital relationship and live according to guidance of the Quran and the Sunnah.

Romantic love is fire. It’s beautiful, captivating, red, hot, and necessary for life. We need fire to stay warm, to cook, to create light, to manufacture, and to exploit it as a source of power and energy. But like fire, love can be dangerous if not guided by rules. Unguided love can burn you, burn your relationship, and burn your lover. The rules of love can only be defined by the One who created love. And that, of course, is God the Most-Loving (الْوَدود). The Quran and the way of the Messenger of God ﷺ are the ultimate sources from which we get the rules of love. Without rules, love is an out-of-control fire. Without rules, the fire of love leads to the fire of hell. But without love, rules are dry. We need both: the law and the spirit. As the great Imam Malik (رحمه الله) indicated, law without spirituality leads to disobedience; And spirituality without law leads to heretic beliefs and behavior. But the one who acts on both will reach certainty in faith.[1] God Willing, this book will strike the balance between the rules (Islamic law) and the love (Islamic marriage).

Marriage is a beautiful institution that brings unlimited benefits, pleasure, happiness, satisfaction, but also unique challenges. It’s a paradise, if done right. If not done right, well, let’s just say it will not be a paradise! I sincerely wish and pray for your marital success!

And I pray that God, the Creator of love (مَوَدَّة) and mercy (رَحْمَة), blesses you with a happy marriage. I pray to God, the One Who named Himself al-Wadud الوَدود, the Most Loving, to make this guide a means to increase marital success and happiness and reduce the causes of marital problems.

ولله الحمد أوّلا وآخرًا.

Your brother in Islam, Ust Qazi.

Register for the Marriage Training Course

For both singles as well as currently married couples.

Get certified after completing lessons, homework, Quizzes, Assessments, and the Final Test!

COURSE OVERVIEW

Selection criteria: choosing your love wisely
What true love truly looks like in reality
Develop practical knowledge and skills for marital success
Roles, rights, and responsibilities
Conflict resolution and communication skills
Muslim family organization
Learn time-tested skills that have been proven to maximize marital happiness
Based on the ultimate sources of knowledge: Quran, Sunnah, and Fiqh
See what modern psychology of relationship says
One-year marriage consultation and advice with the author
Repeat this course for free!

COURSE LOGISTICS

Certificate of Successful Completion awarded
Start Date: Sunday, April 5th (First Sunday of April 2026)
Time: Sundays at 10 AM CST (Central Standard Time-USA).
Schedule: Weekly one-hour Zoom
Duration: Five weeks (every Sunday)
Homework, Quizzes, Assessments, and Final Test (required to get credit/certificate)
PDFs of the textbook (textbook purchase is optional, but highly recommended)
Lively thought-provoking discussions with Q&A and optional study group with fellow participants
Guest speakers
Access to video recordings for registered participants (one year access)